your weekend rom(com)dezvouz: Moonstruck
I defy love! I laugh at it! (ok yeah but I want it also.)
“My scalp is not getting enough blood sometimes. Have some dessert. Will you marry me?” - blurts Johnny Cammareri, a middle-aged bumbling man profusely scratching his scalp over dinner, to a woman who “takes care of him”.
“Bobo, take the cart away.” - says Cher, err (for the sake of plot) 37-year old Loretta Castorini, immediately before she instructs Johnny the imbecile on how to properly propose to a woman—which includes confirming that yes, he should ruin his nice suit to kneel. And that he needs to offer her some type of ring which he has failed to have at the ready.
…Bobo, take the entire man away. And make sure the dinner and a bottle of wine to go for Cher are on his tab.
image: we love a lady at the wheel but it would be nice for a grown man to want to also responsibly drive the relationship??? (i’m sorry about the blur/quality as the streaming service i use blocks screenshots even though art should be FREE TO THE PEOPLE)
To our dread and dismay, melancholy widow, and bookkeeper Loretta agrees to the marriage only if they can both agree to plan a timely wedding traditionally. She’s cursed, she says, and her failure to get married right the first time supposedly is the cause of her first husband’s early death two years into their marriage. He says sure, sure! plan it all! and then requests that Loretta also convince his estranged baby brother to attend the wedding before jetting off to Sicily to inform their dying mother he’s engaged. A simple task, really: convince a man you’ve never met to get over some bad blood you have no idea about, to attend your wedding to his brother. We gloss over a lot here—Is baby bro aware his mother is dying? How bad is the blood between them to not speak about a loved one about to pass?? Seems pretty fishy to me! But I guess, these aren’t exactly ice-breakers because really, you should be married at all costs if you’re in your late thirties.
To no one’s surprise, she falls for Ronny Cammareri with all his sweaty, unhinged, charms. Ronny, played by a young Nick Cage, is a muscled baker obsessed with drama—namely his wooden hand, how it’s his brother’s fault he has a wooden hand, and how beautiful Loretta and the opera are. They fight, they kiss, they bang after probably one tense hour together, she slaps him and they go to the opera. It’s all very passionate. Or Italian. Both.
image: Loretta slapping Ronny for admitting that he loves her after they’ve known each other for probably like twelve hours.
Either way, you can’t help but wonder what wild twist is next—as long as it involves Cher or Olympia Dukakis, the powerhouse actress portraying Loretta’s strong, impeccably witty mother who tells her how silly the whims of love are. (Cher won an academy award and Olympia won an Oscar for their performances, to say the least.)
image: Rose telling her foolish husband he’s gonna die just like everybody else, after he comes in late from sneaking around.
Perhaps the most beautiful part of this rom-com is that everyone has a love story of their own; you have a reason to root for everyone, despite their flaws and misjudgements. In a purely imagined Brooklyn where a full moon can light the entire city, the characters are very much real and multidimensional no matter how ridiculous the interactions. What a rarity to experience a plot where everyone is human and not simply a caricature. No line seems frivolous or there for filler. Each scene, every interaction serves a purpose and is written with intent. What’s even more pleasant is that we’re not fed one, cookie-cutter version of love. The movie beautifully frames and shows love in all its facets and forms.
You’ve got passionate, young (middle-aged really) love, patient and tried love between older couples (Loretta’s parents and uncle and aunt), unrequited love (a young girl working the bakery who clearly adores Ronny), impulsive/irresponsible love (Loretta’s not the only one having an affair; see: Loretta’s dad caught at the opera), the love between a man and his dogs (Loretta’s grandpa), and the love that exists in a family despite the chaos continually unfolding. And you get to see it all gathered at the climax set at a kitchen table.*CHEF’S KISS SHIT, TRULY*
It’s not so much a rom-com as it is a vignette of New York City, Italian culture, family, and women recognizing their worth and uninhibitedly being themselves. I MEANNNN Loretta’s complete MAKEOVER?? Olympia telling a man who keeps getting dumped by 20-year-olds that she won’t go home with him because she knows who she is, even if he doesn’t???
WOMEN!!!!
image: Jo March stanning the BIG WOMEN of BROOKLYN/Moonstruck
With a name as whimsical as “Moonstruck”, it’s hard not to fall in love with the kooky, quiet movie. It’ll make you laugh, it’ll make you hold your breath. It’ll make you question what love really is and what we’ll do to find and keep it. It’ll open you up to the love you know, the love you’ve lost and the love you’ve yet to find.
and That’s Amore, baby.
also you’ll truly never be able to see Nicholas Cage in the same light again if even possible. Happy watching!
